Having a significant other can create much happiness in one’s life, but it can also create turmoil. Each party comes into a relationship with a past, a set of experiences that are unique to that individual, and expectations for how a relationship should look. As such, learning to communicate, compromise, and blend two worlds is essential for a healthy relationship.
Many people focus on what their partner does to make them upset, instead of how we, ourselves, can contribute to making things better. In couples counselling I often begin with a focus on the self to understand why the stresses in the relationship affect us, followed by the instruction of how to communicate these concerns to each other without getting stuck in a typical circular conflict.
Additionally, during couples counselling, skills to improve the relationship are provided to create the foundation that helps a relationship grow.
The video below is a humorous depiction of a typical argument that couples engage in and the circular pattern they can get stuck in.